The "chemistry" between two people is a lot more determined by actual biochemical rapport than we consciously realize.
That may explain why sometimes people who are drawn to each other across a room . . . find they mutually lose interest when they actually come close to each other.
It may also help explain why sometimes you don't want anything to do with a person even though he or she appears to be "your type" - whatever that may be - but you find yourself inexplicably drawn to somebody who is clearly NOT your type.
All this has a lot more to do with the 40 or so trillion bacteria growing in your gut - and, therefore, your diet - than you realized.
Nobody has yet isolated a human pheromone. Many scientists believe we have them, but they haven't yet found one.
However, that doesn't change the point. Like all mammals, we do give off body odors. And those body odors do affect other people's behavior, even though they may not technically be pheromones in the same way that female moths secrete pheromones to attract male moths.
It could simply be we become conditioned to react positively to certain biochemical signals given off by other people.
We are Concerned about Our Smells, Right?
When I was a kid, we laughed about people with "BO." After puberty, we worried about own BO.
As a society, we spend millions of dollars on deodorants and deodorant soaps - and on perfumes, colognes and other fragrances we hope will please potential romantic partners. Don't go out and buy these toxic fragrances. Definitely don't spray them on your skin if they are not natural.
Some cultures are not so obsessed, or at least not in the same ways as we are.
Napoleon once wrote to the Empress Josephine: "Will arrive home in three days. Don't bathe."
But let's remember preBonaparte French royalty invented perfume to cover up their failure to bathe.
So, hey, whatever turns you on.
The Sense of Smell is Complicated
Our noses contain around 400 receptors. When you get a whiff of some odor, your brain identifies it based on the combination of receptors and nerves activated by it.
Every one of those 400 receptors comes in genetically variant forms, and those variants react in different ways to the same smell.
Also, our senses of smell are closely tied in the brain to memory, and that affects how we react emotionally to particular smells.
Therefore, we all live in unique worlds of scent.
Flies Who Eat the Same
In 2010, Israeli scientists ran an experiment with fruit flies that had the same basic microbiomes. Then they divided the flies into two groups. One began eating exclusively molasses, the other exclusively starch. The researchers kept that up for two generations, then tried to mate the molasses flies with the starch flies.
That turned out to be a romance killer. The molasses consumers wanted nothing to do with the starch eaters, and vice versa.
The flies definitely preferred to partner with other flies with compatible microbiomes.
It wasn't the food. When the researchers killed off the microbiomes, the flies suddenly hooked up with each other equally.
According to the lead researcher, the gut bacteria didn't produce the fly pheromones, but did regulate their production.
The Role of Microbes in Human Romance
The bacteria on your skin convert oils into your own personal blend of fatty acids. This is not about the failure to wash off sweat and dirt or the fragrances in your personal care products - it's about your natural, unique scent.
Another factor is our major histocompatibility complex (MHC) - immune proteins, which also generate a (barely detectable) scent - and which are also affected by our microbiomes.
In mice studies, mice without gut bacteria remain hermits. Normal mice with gut bacteria, however, are friendly, and enjoy hanging out with each other.
It's not impossible that having dysbiosis - an out-of-balance microbiome - somehow repels other people.
Including, inevitably, potential romantic partners.
Should You Go Out and Buy Pheromone Aphrodisiacs?
I first heard about pheromone aphrodisiacs decades ago, in those far-off pre-Internet days when you had to learn things from books, magazines - and direct mail sales letters.
A company selling so-called pheromones in a bottle targeted me and other men who - presumably - wanted to attract more women.
All I can say is - you can now find a zillion such products - for both men and women - on Amazon.
They say just rub or spray them on your skin, and see for yourself what happens.
Me, I'd rather depend on those bacteria living in my gut. Even if they don't help me get lucky tonight, at least I'll have good digestion, happy neurotransmitters and a strong immune system.
The Most Dependable Way to Encourage Beneficial Bacteria to Grow in Your Colon
Feed them.
That means fiber. That means plant foods.
The more, the better.
The more different kinds, the better.
According to the world's largest study of the gut microbiome, the American Gut Project, the greatest single predictor of gut health (or lack thereof) is how many different plants you eat.
People who ate over 30 different kinds of plants per week had the most bacterial diversity in their guts.
Fermented foods, such as sauerkraut and kimchi, also help encourage a broad range of bacterial diversity.
The Best Way to Diversify Your Microbiome
1. Find a compatible partner.
2. Kiss them.
That transfers 8 million bacteria per second between the two of you.
https://health.ucsd.edu/news/releases/Pages/2018-05-15-big-data-from-worlds-largest-citizen-science-microbiome-project-serves-food-for-thought.aspx
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mood-microbe/201904/what-do-microbes-have-do-your-love-life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-Oupk_4VVo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqftxptfm7Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmdq6WX-TEc
https://www.amazon.com/Fiber-Fueled-Plant-Based-Optimizing-Microbiome-ebook/dp/B07ZY7J2XW/